A critical reminder today: keep your clips at an independent location and update it regularly. A shithead billionaire is always lurking, waiting to fuck your world up.

I’m as pro-union as anybody, but you still have to be careful not to bite the hand that feeds you.

From the Reading Comprehension Tees

Mannfred Manns is going to need to cover up his huge throbbing excitement for the Dodgers vs Yankees series he wants so badly here. The number 1 and 1A media markets battle, let’s just hope that the World Series is on a normal network and not hidden on some backwater cable channel that will take people 4 innings just…

Perhaps you spend all day on Twitter or are a close follower of Indianapolis Colts beat writers

a 27-year-old guy in Vero Beach who was hospitalized with second- and third-degree burns

When referring to ocean-going vessels the term is “listing.”

Yeah, poor Yankees are so victimized by the media. So little coverage and hype.

Colin Kaepernick doesn’t have a job because he won’t stand.

There’s a 30% chance he got married in the same clothes.

“Um...sort of.”

UAW workers only come in halfs because they only do half work.

Big deal. I found half of a sleeping UAW worker under the 3rd row of my Traverse.

Opening a capsule and pouring the contents down your gullet, when medicine usually tastes godawful? Hmmm...unusual. Don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone do that. And without that, it would be very strange for the kissing excuse to work.

Heavy PEDing.

What kind of sorry, piece-o’-shit, half-man does this?

The Gold Cup? Oh, you mean the 637th most important soccer tournament in the world?

The best part was no Chris Berman yelling, “Back, back, back,” after every homer. Then one of the announcers who did the show this year laid one on us and ruined it for me.

But his shoes...

“It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing 4 years ago.”