Hear that Jags fans? Humble brag of approval from a Packer fan. You should feel so honored that he took time off of the PFT comments section to look all of the way down that giant beak to notice you.

Except for the reading it off the teleprompter... funny how they had photos on the big screen that went along with the speech. Maybe that’s why it was awkward.

They both get dysentery equally from water touching their agape mouths.

Proof that Canadians are forever happy and do not cry.

Thanks for dating yourself and completely skipping the first half of the 90s.

He’s not dangerous enough.

Why don’t we just start saying he got a 7 year $20 million dollar contract with $57 million in incentives? Come on Deadspin, be a leader and start talking about contracts like this.

Damnit, that’s an auto trade to the red sox. I hate my team and all of their GM fuckfaces.

South America is safe though! Think of the athletes that are competing as amatures. They don’t even know their worth, so lets make a dollar with NBC.

Haven’t been on Deadspin long, eh?

You can take a boy from Galveston, but you can’t take the Galveston out of the boy.

Fack you... I think I spelled “you” wrong for Boston? Maybe?

STFU Chris Kluwe. Your fake name doesn’t dog me and we know you loved your stint in Oakland more than Minny.

Fucking classic hot dog short stop dick move. They think they have every ball even if they are called off. Fuck this story.

I don’t respect you. Let people be happy.

This is totally nuts.

Thank you for reminding me that I have the handle of this guy’s bat in my photo and collectibles tote. #39 right? We played a high school game after the Twins played Oakland in the Metrodome way back in the day and I found it in the dugout or the hallway, I can’t remember for sure. Would have been in ‘89 or ‘90 and I…

This will stay in the grays, but 90% of the people on this site have no fucking clue what this article is about. Most, like me, think that the U.S. got some soccer tourney because they paid a bunch of money to Fifa and is royally fucking it up. But after looking at the comments, I am thinking that Uruguay might be…

For insane people... the rest of use will keep doing what normal people do. Have fun with your WWE sport that you believe isn’t fake, but will completely accept as fake 20 years from now just like the WWF fans back in the day didn’t and then did.

“I suppose it is possible that the Marlins did indeed have inside information, and made the incredibly bold and strange decision that it was their urgent duty to announce it to the fans.” - This is so fucking smarmy that I don’t trust any of your writing going forward. You are a butt hurt douchebag for writing this.…