Well, my now husband and were having pizza one afternoon. After we were done eating, one thing lead to another and I starting giving him a good ol BJ. I was horny, so was he, so I got on top and started riding away, enjoying ourselves. Then I felt a slight burning sensation. I was like, oh whatever, it'll go away.…

Bloody nose and lip pulling up my own bra strap. My hand slipped and I punched myself.

Dislocated my jaw by yawning.

I yawned my face off.

She had her back done.

Ha! But seriously, dick germs always vanquish poop germs.

Or this:

I had a coworker who chronically overshared her marital woes with me. And so I learned about "the incident."
Her husband had trouble in the erection department and for health reasons couldn't take the usual meds. So they went with a strap on, which she found to be too cold and so decided to microwave it - for FIVE…

I don't understand, why is he boiling them? Am I supposed to be boiling all the various sex sanctioned items? I mean hot water and Dial is fine? Is it not? Is my vagina going to fall out?

Quick story that, I guess, shows why I love having kids at weddings and why it's probably a bad idea. A fraternity brother's wedding where it was very heavy on your readings and vows and in the middle of it all this kid, who at most was five years old, says very loudly "THIS IS SO FREAKING BORING" and then gets…

Well, changing bloody underwear 36 times over the course of only a few days will do that to you, I guess. It builds character.

I know I don't want to know what "Trannies #4" is, but I do, because ughhhhh.

It's pretty horrifying that this same story crops up every year or two without any real consequence to the Mexican government and that the mass murders and rapes just continue. It's not as if there's some prolific serial killer out there that they just can't catch. This is an organized, well planned and sanctioned…

I really wish they wouldn't call Transformers "Trannies #4"

The meaning of the sign:

Because the word pandemic only colloquially means across the world. It can absolutely mean within one country.

Here's my question - why did nobody go back and edit this after the fact? They could have simply altered it to appear that Pullam was fired for leading the losing team - which happens a lot. Why leave this in now that its clear that Pullam might have had VERY good reasons for not calling Cosby?

ENJOY YOUR EARTHQUAKE INTO THE OCEAN! *Sobs into ice*