I was a couple of episodes behind, and I got bored with Violet so decided to skip to the end. I couldn’t believe that she got to the top three (totes team Katya), but given the top three, I was so sure Ginja was going to win.

Forever. Apart from in ‘I Thee Dread’, which made me happy :)

Dear sweet shitting Christ.

AND JOHN BISHOP.

The UK, America, Canada, France, Sweden, Germany, Austria, USA....I could go on.

You’re nothing but a sad little troll. Away and soak your head.

Oh fuck you, you racist prick.

Yet there are fundamental Buddhists who carry out acts of violence in the name of their particular path.

Yeah, I saw that...yet I am still stuck in the greys....

What ARE you?

‘Hello, I love you’ is probably the finest pop song ever recorded. I fucking love Adore.

Weddings like that are either awkward af, or the best thing ever (mainly because you can be an absolute drunken twat on the dancefloor and nobody will know who you are).

*click click clickety fucking click*

Start with the phone sex first. It’s a gateway drug ;)

She’s really judgmental.

We didn’t have our dog when we got married, and my cat was quite firm in her view that marriage was an ‘outdated, patriarchal concept designed to keep women subservient’, and although she supported my freedom to choose , she simply could not bring herself to be involved.

Except that’s not what she was. Not in a million years.

Not on the soft downy hairs on my cheeks, but my ladybeard is determined to break free (damn you hormones and genetics), and I get fiver o’clock shadow on my chin where my dark coarse hair lives. I pluck those ones and don’t shave them.

That’ll be haggis suppers.

Yep, sometimes with highlighter on my cupids bow and some darker contour shade under m bottom lip. That’s all I need.