He was grieving still. His relationship with Linda was quite special.

My son is a 'typical teenager'. He's 16. He knows who Macca is. He's been raised properly.

Heather is delusional, and a chronic, pathological liar. She really is. It is sad.

Am I a gay man?

*checks

I fucking love you for that description. I love you THIS MUCH.

in the North of England, we have 'bless their little cotton socks' which I think is used exactly the same way.

My family will never know - they are all Man City fans...it would be unbearable to hear the mocking ;)

Oh that is a disturbing, twisted, picture.

Well yes. She's a professional scouser. At least Paul O'Grady (not a scouser, obvs) is happy he moved away from the Wirral and never tries that 'in my Liverpool home' bollocks.

It's aged slightly better than some other Carla Lane stuff - and sadly, Bread is still relevant :(

My family are all Man City fans. I have never ever told them, they would never let me hear the end of it :/

This might not make sense to some Americans or Canadians, but it is a big deal for a English girl - specifically one from Manchester. It is my dirtiest, most shameful secret, and one that made even my husband look at me with disgust.

So Ethnic can only mean black? Really? Are you sure?

Apart from, you know, the assaulting women thing that he did. Frequently and often.

My ex-boyfriend didn't even propose - just told his brother that we would be getting married that September.

Yup. That was my proposal. I didn't feel like I even had a choice - we'd just bought a house together, so saying no would have been awkward as fuck. I was snowballed into wedding hell, being forced to choose…

We'd met online, went out on a drunken rampage when we finally met up, and then met up again two weeks later. We again got hammer drunk, and he asked me to marry him. I declined politely by laughing and pointing at him whilst falling off the bed. The next morning he was MORTIFIED.

It became a habit. He'd go out of a…

I don't know about that. Cher would have a shit fit. M.I.A would be screaming.

I'd cut a bitch up.

Just saying.

Oh please. If this was an artist on Jezebel's 'acceptable' list, you'd be backing her the fuck up.

I have, and yes - if I am truly spoiling myself I might get something lush from Choccywoccydoodah, or at a push Hotel Chocolat (it's a bit expensive for what it is), or any number of the local confectioners we have here in rural East Anglia, - but for an average day, when you just need some chocolate to keep you from…

Crappy? Low end?

Cadburys?

I've never found them 'twee'. They could be, if it weren't for the fact that they visibly LOVE singing together, and singing in general. It fills my tired, bitter, old heart with joy.