“WATCH ME CRUSH MY FERRARI USING MY ASTON MARTIN.” See? Hummer is now completely forgotten.

It’s because Cadillac’s design is tacky and outdated. They’re the Joe Pesci (ala Goodfellas) of the luxury car market. They need to fire their head of design, give the middle finger to this pseudo art-deco crap they’ve had for over a decade (LET IT GO), and hire somebody that understands the design wants/desires of…

DAMN YOU RIGHT TO HELL FOR THAT PIC. That is so awful.

This is why cars need to be imbued with a digital personality. They should be able to fight, do burn-outs around each other to tease, and in general be as lifelike as possible. I don’t know where I came up with this amazing idea, but it would make for an incredible movie, and a terrible sequel.

I dunno. Ever since I saw this video of a local Texan behind the wheel of a pony car, autonomous cars have seemed a better and better idea: http://jalopnik.com/i-was-the-firs…

Holy S balls, that whole car is like one giant sensory experience.

I’m still wondering why you haven’t bought a Camry for $500, and turned it into something fast and exciting. Mission: Jalopossible.

Yeah that's so awesome. Faith in humanity +1.

Looks like the federal lobbyists for Big Kielbasa are coming down hard on the little guy. NO SOUP FOR YOU

Your handle makes this comment funnier than it would be otherwise.

The most alarming part of this fictional history was when the Euro-wizards exchanged their smallpox laden invisibility cloaks with the Native Americans, decimating the population while also making it impossible to find the dead.

That spot:

Porsche has said zero Fuchs given.

I was being sarcastic, but I will take this as a compliment :-)

Suks 4u porsh, dat 4 cylndur aint gonna cut it, takin my money elsewhere

OCD alert: Is there anyone else out there that thinks the tail lights are too small for this car? “Fat guy in a little coat” always comes to mind when I see them.

2010 Nissan GT-R. 3.2 seconds 0-60, 59k. Crazy.

Bravo to all these actors. Good on ya.

Happy New Year to the Jalopnik staff and all Jalops! May 2016 bring you all the Miatas and Focus RS’s your garage can hold.