Also; play golf

Wondering who’s next on the chopping block? Like a Clarissa of Twitter, his excellent thread explains it all. Read the full thread for all the answers.

Have you tried being a white male? I hear that goes over well in interviews.

Andrew Jackson is dead. We could probably cross him out too.

Pence has the best strategy here, probably established since before Trump took office: Lay low, be bland, don’t be noticed by ANYONE. He’s like that one person in every Settlers of Catan game: while the others are squabbling and sabotaging each other and stealing wood and sheep and busting up the Longest Road left and…

All of them.

“Jesus loves me best”

Damn, that’s rich. It’s always those dudes who boast a little too much about their war service. They’re always complete fucking frauds. I’m looking at you, Jesse Ventura and dead Chris Kyle.

My father once told me, “Never underestimate the stupidity of another human being.”

This leaves him more time to further operate in a shadow capacity at right-wing clearinghouse Breitbart, and more free time to suckle on the sweet blood of baby fawns in the dead of night.

I totally think it was the right call, dad seemed on point and prepared to raise children. Narcissistic mom not so much.

Yeah, that hit me too. He didn’t close the door on her, she closed it first.

I literally died.

I hadn’t even considered this amazingness. #sharethepopcorn

The thing here that made me particularly sad was that it sounds as if the son, despite the repeated digs at him and his beliefs, still was the one apologizing and trying to make things work.

I find McMullin’s political career depressing - not because of anything he’s done, but because his miniscule following shows how tiny the audience is for non-crazy conservatism.

For real. I honestly don’t think kids owe their parents much, if anything. Why on earth would you bring a child into the world, and then vote AGAINST that child’s best interests, and still expect your child to accommodate you? Being the bigger person is great and all, but that doesn’t mean you have to sit there and…

I know it’s not shocking, but it’s heartbreaking to hear someone talk about how their own mother chose whiteness over their children. And wanting to take you to a step-family’s Thanksgiving? Just gross.

Good morning PJ. I had a similar relationship with my best friend’s mother until, for my own mental sanity I had to cut her off. My best friend is white and I am black and I am the godmother her children (if the unthinkable happens, my BFF wants me - and not any one in her family - to take care of her kids, lawyers…