We have snacks?

Three? Are you mad?? Two rolls says “I am all about business, but sometimes that means I have to get a little dirty.” Three rolls screams SLACKER CULTURE, “I’m too busy fighting the man and listening to Guster to be effective at my job.”

They always seem to imagine that the closer they edge to Republican policy positions

In some parts of Michigan, this would be the feather-weight class.

What lovely people.

I felt for sure this man was out of his depth, and I cannot fathom how he held his water while sinking so rapidly.

Almost loss a good pushcart there...

What is it that ain’t exactly earth, and it ain’t exactly water?

Ah crap. Now he’s going to be overstimulated, skip his nap and will be a screaming terror by dinnertime. I would not want to be a third-world country at around 4:30 this afternoon....

I thought the gender reveal party didn’t happen until at least second base, maybe even third.

Yet another way assholes try to get you to look at them.

What the fuck is a gender reveal party?

Is weed even worth smuggling into this country anymore? For that matter, are fusions worth importing?

lolwut.

Infiniti G35 at Rutgers. Story checks out.

Luke: I have a long commute and my current car is unreliable.

Hey there, do you wear clothing?

WHAT A SCOOP!

If I had to die, being blown to death would pretty much be at the top of my list.

August Adolphus Busch IV?