Michelles always cry poor.

Jennifer (my name) was off-the-charts popular in the '70s, so that would put a good chunk of them squarely in the optimal mistress age in the '90s. I was born in '74 and would've been a coveted mistress age from 1992 (age 18) through 1999 (25).

So, basically, if you were born in the late 70s or early 80s, you're a gold digger.

Hell, you can have Pamela Anderson back too, if that will sweeten the deal.

Breaking the law in such a reckless fashion, and causing grave danger to those around you are justifiable reasons for deportation in my book. If you want to drink and drive, you can do that in your country of birth. I say this as an emigrant, and as the wife of an immigrant to the USA. If you break the laws of the…

Given that the original charges included driving without a license, resisting arrest, DUI and reckless driving, and everything has been dropped down to reckless driving in a plea deal...I'm pretty sure there's a consistency issue. He's getting off remarkably easy for something that would send nearly anyone else,…

I love that they squeezed 3 of his song titles into their "non-response". The White House trolled the trolls lol.

Yeah, lots of that in Isha's stuff. Today, at least, she also misspelled Gordon Ramsay's name.

Neither Minelli or Novak are aging gracefully. They're both barely recognizable as themselves. The pressure for women to age gracefully is bullshit - but so is the idea that women are powerless to resist the pressure.

Party poppers? Bacon wrapped poppers with tiny hunks of habanero mixed into the cream cheese and grilled ARE a party in your mouth!

I even put a little sriracha on them for the garlicy goodness.

Who's Kelly Cuoco? All I see is KALEY Cuoco.

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. If she was a regular, fat ol' wrinkly grandma, people would still act surprised and horrified. So- don't look older, don't look heavier, but don't diet or do plastic surgery, or make sure no one can tell. Got it.

*Just watch her, you party poppers*

You are definitely woman enough to take care of a cat. Don't worry, if you're even two minutes late feeding the cat, it will be all up in your face meowing at you and looking mournful. It will wake you up by sitting on you and purring it your ear. We have several shelters in the area where I live, and one of them…

Nope. You know you need to dump him. You are a weird sex game in the boyfriend and ex's life. Even though you're with him, she's still the primary companion in his life. If you're posting for help on the internet, you know that he's the literal worst and you need to run. Follow your gut on this one.

In the words of the great Dan Savage, DTMFA (dump that motherfucker already)

When did kitting out a motorcycle to have an INSANELY loud exhaust only to putter around city neighbourhoods at 4okm/h become a thing? It's getting so you can't sit at an outdoor cafe and have a conversation, there are so many of these things going past. I don't remember there being quite so many of them 10, 20…

You know that it still isn't okay to gauge a woman's worth by whether or not you'd have sex with her, right?

Technically, a 16-month-old is not an infant but a toddler. Not that it makes this story any less appalling.

Daymeon