You should clean the shelves. Or don’t clean them at all and make sure nobody leave their fingers on them.

Complain all you want, but he’s just fulfilling his mandate. We all remember the crowds at Trump rallies chanting “Tax cuts for real estate developers and hedge funds!” If you’d get out of your snowflake liberal coastal bubble for a second you’d realize that real America wants to solve the plight of wealthy heirs…

I ranted about this in Slack, but what bothers me about these bullshit foul calls the most (because I am the kind of weirdo who thinks about things in these terms) is: They’re not penalizing defenders for breaking basketball rules. They’re affirmatively rewarding offensive players for successfully play-acting.

You’d emerge as a shell of your former self.

Probably, but only if you stuck with your embrybro’s

Hard to find the sunny side up of jail, it never goes over easy

You don’t know how you’d souffler.

Egg prison would give you a chance to recooperate. 

Brings a whole new meaning to the song “Tossed salads and scrambled eggs”.

First thing you’d do is scramble to find a gang to join.

You’re hard boiled.

Which is nothing to yolk about

Doubt it. You’d crack under the pressure.

Which fans were interviewed for This? JD Drew is still number 1, followed by Scott Rolen

[rant]

Next, can you write about the 40-and-over basketball game that was tied at 12 for 20 minutes last night at my JCC?

[Tim Tebow hits a home run]

Seriously, Jalops, this is it. The moment of truth. We need to buy this car.

That’s the DC cousin of that POS PS2 controller my dad talked me into buying when I bought my PS2 in sixth grade with saved up chore and bday money. He didn’t think there was an advantage to paying $10 more for a real DS2 controller. I haven’t listened to my dad when it comes to buying electronics and peripherals…

“crying every time Cartman dies on South Park.” Kenny dies at the end of every episode. Cartman is the childhood version of Trump.