I do know. You can communicate and define boundaries and think everything is laid out and yet still be cheated on in a poly relationship. Have had this happen myself, finding out years later that partner slept with someone and kept it a secret. And that’s but one scenario, and I’m definitely not the only one, by far.

Both need it desperately, but to say poly deals with it better is LOOOOL. And I’ve been poly. Currently into MEgamy and abstaining from relationships, but could choose poly again.

Funny, the same thing can be said about you and the OP. No one is forcing you to not be monogamous.

How is any on this “attacking” monogamy exactly? The author of the article is right, monogamy is a problem for the men and women who cheat on their spouses/partners. Precisely compulsory monogamy.

“So, you’re saying the assumption that most marriages are monogamous (when in fact, they’re probably not, at least not with the consent of both partners) is some sort of...tyranny?”

“You make a choice as to what type of relationship you want to be in”

remember that case in Texas where doctors were ordered to keep a brain-dead woman alive because fetus - over the objections of her husband and family?

If anything, that’s an understatement. I imagine plenty of them would love scientists to find a way to keep the female reproductive system alive and let everything surrounding it die.

No one is shitting on monogamy. Monogamy is a “lifestyle choice” that is still considered the norm and is presented as something that we should all strive for.

Thanks for putting all those words in my mouth. That’s very honest of you.

What I am talking about is the best option when all the options are bad.

That’s not really how television works.

So you don’t think anyone’s ever had an affair and their partner never found out? I think that’s a bit unrealistic.

Considering Charles Kuralt had an entire secret family that no one in his official family knew about until after he died, I’d say it’s far from impossible.

Esther Perel’s take on why people cheat:

I’m assuming their target audience isn’t “dumb people” lol

Its true that breaking your agreement is wrong. I think it's just the level of judgement from those outside of the agreement has gotten a bit out of hand.

What are you even talking about? You’re talking like (And I know you know better) people who’ve been married for years don’t know whether their partner would like to open up the relationship. Of course they know.

I don't think cheating is okay, and I said multiples times that it's not. That wasn't my point. My point was that we need a cultural shift towards cheating not being a relationship extinction event, but rather one of many shitty things long-term couples do towards each other that require reconciliation, not automatic…

This shit is complicated.