I have no idea how you could think that this wardrobe advice is somehow good advice. She should treat her boyfriend like a real adult, not a a child. Just have an honest conversation with him about how she loves him and doesn't want to change him, but part of being in a relationship is doing things for the other…

I found myself in a similar situation to Paul Bunyan's lover. After too many fights about what my now husband should wear to a friends wedding, I decided to back off and let him select his own attire. He was terribly underdressed and quickly realized that it is much easier to be a little uncomfortable for a few hours…

Yeah, does she think that "doesn't dress up a lot" also means he's not a functioning human being? Because her advice was not something that normal people in a healthy relationship should do.

Are we sure Fancy didn't mix up the dog advice and the boyfriend advice?

Right on - and I think this is sexist, too. If you reversed the genders and had a man treating a woman this way, I'd react with horror. It's not okay to infantilize and manipulate people. Just communicate. Tell the guy you'd like to do some fancy dress occasions occasionally. Either he'll do it or he won't, and the…

When you date Ron Swanson, as much as Ron needs to meet you in the middle on some things, you have to accept a few things about how Ron behaves. Otherwise, you're not a suitable couple.

>>...I'm not sure why this is such a common problem...<<

The Paul Bunyan advice is really terrible. Just level with the dude about the dress code when the situation arises — if he cares about making you happy, he'll acquiesce, if he cares more about his comfort than you, he won't. Trying to manipulate him into wearing what you want him to wear without coming out and…

We are in complete agreement regarding the merits of just heading to a bare-bones ethnic place, and I love drinking 40s on the sidewalk as much as anyone with a well-rounded sense of fun.

As the resident Paul Bunyan in many of my relationships, please don't do that. It's pretty condescending and infantilizing. I'm on to people who do it, and it makes me feel manipulated, and honestly, rather angry.

I think Carl Sagan expresses this idea well:

I think it's probably really important to distinguish between wanting something to be true and actually believing that it is true.

There are a lot of people who very desperately want certain magical propositions to be true, but I would probably argue that they don't actually believe them. You can't choose to believe…

No, that's part of the same bullshit mantra that this entire website rails against. To then passively condone it by intimating that this is somehow less than rape is bull. Hell, they aren't even being charged with rape.

I wouldn't be outraged if he was tried as a juvenile. I am outraged every time a young offender is "upgraded" to adult, in fact. Every time.

It's not about whether 16 is an adult or not, it's an abuse of power. Full stop.

Umm.... other than the photos and videos?

Only one use of the word "rape" in an article about two people raping someone. It's not even in the headline of the article.

Exactly. This is what I'm trying to nail down. We *know* and also believe that some insect is not dangerous, and yet our skin is still crawling. This is not because of an irrational belief we possess, but because of instinctual or culturally instilled responses. There needs to be a distinction between these two things.

I'm pretty sure you just described Don Draper, except the rapist on Mad Men was an adult...yet still, only few articles about the episode noticed that a rape had happened that episode. No wonder, in real life, especially with such a young rapist, this guy was so confused.

Oooof. This hits really close to home. A few years ago, I went through a period where nearly every man I dated had some story about the much-older woman he had sex with while he was a very young teen. On the surface, it was always told as a tale of their virility and impressive masculinity, a story meant to make me…