Gives a new meaning to the phrase beat your meat.

I went to Wamego as a freshman. They had the worlds largest LSD lab bust there. It was in an old missile silo. And, it was staffed by off-duty cops.

You obviously never went to Wamego.

Yeah, but you lived in Manhattan, KS. I’m sure you’ve seen the gambit of toothless meth-heads trying to feed you some bullshit.

The customer is always right.

This is what you do when you have a Craftsmen warranty.

No, the problem is that it is still semi-permeable after tanning. When water gets into this area, it removes fats that keep the leather supple. So, you need a barrier to prevent this from happening.

When you make something into leather, it makes it not waterproof. So, you would need to waterproof the leather then./pedantic

We should use waterproof whale penis leather.

And yet they can’t figure out whether a ball was deflated or not. Idiots.

I thought about writing it like that.

They should call them Trump Boxes. Because they’re orange and only associated with disasters.

Why’s it gotta be black? #allboxesmatter

“I’ll have what he’s having.”

You need a van to put the X in sex.

Video game truthers...fml.

Video game truthers...fml.

His name is Armstrong, Lance Armstrong.

May you forever bathe in the burn ointment that you must surely dole out to everyone you meet.

This should turn into a new jalop game. Drunk driving or pokemon go?

You could always call it Baby Maker races.