I had an absolutely shitty week at work, and while I don’t usually turn to food for comfort, today I went out and bought a bucket of half sour pickles. I may die of hypertension, but at least I’m less angry at one of the higher ups at work!

Ugh, I still get chills whenever I remember that he died in an elevator.

I posted #2 on twitter today. It was stuck in my brain. I hoped that he had made it to the highest floor.

his face tho

I refuse to accept this. In fact, I don’t want to know any more. The Tiny Purple Genius moved on a hopefully peaceful place. Fini.

I’m not ready to accept this.

I shall not believe this! Satan I rebuke thee in the name of Jon Snow.

Do you seriously think Hillary Clinton is the only woman qualified to be president of the US?

remember taylor armstrong from the real housewives? I’m not sure which... maybe beverly hills? she had the worst lip job I’ve ever seen and IIRC it was permanent. she always looked like forming consonants was difficult.

It takes a village.

I’ve noticed that certain augmented lips look amazing in photos but awful IRL. The first person I noticed this on was Kim Kardashian. Woman looks amazing in pics but whenever I see video of her, her lips look unnatural and uncomfortable. :( I’ve noticed this with several of the Real Housewives as well. I don’t think…

I’d like that “good citizen’s” name released.

Those guys are assholes I promise you. They should have been building you up and making you feel good about the many wonderful qualities you have. Instead they acted like immature jerks who can only think with their dicks.

Kratz’s private law firm has been attacked by viewers on Yelp.

Ah yes. During the Oscar performance, she wore the diamond from the movie and, during her famous chest-beating sequence, where she assured us her heart would go on by apparently doing self-CPR, slashed her palm open on the gem. It was at that point that I felt a wee bit uncomfortable with her dedication to that damn…

I always think of this.

Mark Ballas’ happy crab haunts my dreams.

This is me right now watching Vanderpump Rules, hiding from my family. I “went to bed” at 8:10PM.

I spent about a week stealing a coworkers pet decorative reindeer, hiding it in other departments, and leaving fancy rhyming clues so he could find it (then I would steal it again). After a week of that another coworker hijacked the whole operation and ruined it: gave stupid obscene clues and also HIJACKED MY FUCKING…

My relatives are in town from Luxembourg. My 12 year old cousin, spawned from Lucifer’s left testicle, has been calling me Sasquatch since I arrived, and bullying my heavy set niece and nephew. I bought a Darth Vader PlayStation. Emptied the box, filled it with charcoal, wrapped it, and signed his name to it. The…