No word yet on how they plan to resolve the tanking of the league itself.

Strange name, that "Gofuh Kyorself".

Gee, I wonder where his son learned to be a colossal douchnozzle...

My British friend and Canadian friend were watching the Browns-Redskins game with me last week (sounds like the set-up for a joke).

Brit: Who's playing?
Me: Cleveland Browns and Washington Redskins. The main narrative here is that John-
Brit: Wait, the who?!
Me: Washington Redskins.
Brit: Like... Native American.…

My favorite part is that this project (which is great) has fewer rules than Gawker's how-to-comment-screed.

That's... like the best idea I've ever heard about this series.

If there's any era I feel should be featured in Assassin's Creed, it's the invasion of Britain by the Romans. A Druid Assassin would be so awesome.

I think you'd just buy a whistle then.

I can't even whistle as an adult! I'm almost more impressed by that than by the "elimination communication" piece, even though I'm sure it's not a regular whistle.

I did not enjoy the 4 months I had my puppy tethered to me while I housebroke him, I'm absolutely not being tethered to a child while I wait for them to make a certain face (I assume they don't start to circle or sniff too long at a place like puppies but I don't know much about kids, so maybe they do).

I would be in serious trouble because I still can't whistle at 42.

Thought Catalog is nothing but a failed humanity experiment, like eugenics or Pauly Shore.

Probably going to throw in Yakupov since you can't hang a painting without a Nail.

"This chart shows the cars most likely to be stolen... huh, this should be interesting. Surely nobody wants my boring Honda Accor—oh, shit." <- exactly what went though my mind just now.

If you want to get your gal to break up with you, just show her your prolapse porn. EASY PEASY.Or a hot picture of Brezhnev.

"In hindsight, all the warning signs were there"? All the warning signs that he was going to fake his own death.