I can’t believe I ever had a chance to reference this sketch I love, but Temple Horses wasn’t the first to fuck pumpkins either.

Your jib. I like the cut of it.

:(

Hey, your Celtics roflstomped the Warriors tonight and the shambling corpse of Gordon Hayward dropped 30 points. Let’s have some care not to put a reverse-jinx on Trump, shall we? The country has had enough of his “winning."

No. No. Chris Thompson, I heart you, my man. My job means I’m working (and on Deadspin) and awake at weird hours so I appreciate that your time overlaps with mine. But anything less than 2000 words from Albert Burneko eating a mountain range of shit over the Warriors (ugh) being martyred by the Celtics (also ugh) in…

God, it must have been an absolute joyful career moment to write this post.

That woman who was near tears gave me legit feels. "Can you just nod?" No joke, I heart sports, man.

Back in the AAU days, literally nothing gave me a bigger jolly than a quick score against a guy who slapped the floor. It was always a guard (frontcourt guys don't do this particular peacocking bullshit), and he usually had on a t shirt under his jersey.

Because I’m a fucking idiot.

[reads opening and first few emails]
Me: Shrug. Stephenson is just gonna consider Samer to be a troll, which to be fair in the context of his original emails, he completely is. These are “Dead Letters” sent to a haughty conservative chud. This isn’t going to go anywhere.

It was also such an out-of-nowhere left turn of tone and gameplay. To that point, the game had been an incredible development of fast-paced tactical shooter mechanics, with a very military flavor to it. Lots of fire-and-flank and choosing weapons wisely. Then the flood show up and all of a sudden it’s a sci-fi horror…

This. That will always stick in my brain because I was slowly creeping into the mist, heart thumping, on twitchy HIGH ALERT, fully expecting to get horrified out of my wits, and then something literally in real life BRUSHES MY FUCKING EAR. I jerk and whirl around- my girlfriend’s cat at jumped up on the chair back and…

The best thing about Overwatch is the chess match of comp choices, so whatever they can do to avoid a state of all mirrored metas all the time is good. I’ve been watching OWL since it launched, and the goats grind is really a bummer. Back before it was established meta, the Fusion tried it every now and then with…

Philly lives for the scorn and derision of outsiders, even when no one is actually scorning or deriding. Fans insisted the world was against them in Super Bowl LII when literally everyone who wasn’t a Pats (or maybe Cowboys) fan was rooting for the Eagles to win that game.

I am so god damn proud of Philly.

I think, just maybe I possess just a touch of privilege, because this is all shit that never, ever floats through my consciousness at all when I’m out at a bar.

Hot Take: Buster Scruggs was for the most part really, really boring. The stories are all extremely simple with very protracted dialogues that don’t even have the crushing subtext that Tarantino whacks himself off to. Also, I think the gripes about the movie’s treatment of Natives are understandable.

Be honest. How much are you guys going to be inspecting your poop in the coming days?

Holy shit, it’s Agent Madani!