Just a small correction: You’ve had it with AMERICAN Christians and their false sense of persecution. Christian students were gunned down in Kenya this week specifically for being Christian, so let’s not pretend that Christians aren’t still routinely persecuted all over the world. But, yeah, American Christians who…

If these parents were so bloody comfortable with their pretend sky-dad they wouldn’t be so threatened by a little bit of stretching.

Do these morons think that yoga studios are Hindu temples?

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Pffft. Like human sharks aren’t hot.

He looks like a human shark to me. I must be one of the few people in the world who do not find him attractive.

Seconded! Happy Birthday, Mark!!!!!! Celebrate by having even louder sex than your neighbors!!

13 year olds are better than me, 4 year olds are fresher than me...c'mon Jezebel. Admittedly, I'm in my 30's and I ate two separate lunches today but I'm doing the best I can with what I have to work with.

Is this what the kiddies are talking about when they say someone's "thirsty"?

Is the restroom fit for Captain America's butt cheeks?

Jaden Smith was having a bad day, I see.

It celebrity life - don't try to understand it. He's probably serenading JLaw with "Sky Full of Stars" on Friday night, then hitting up Hudson with an unplugged version of "Yellow" on Saturday. Then he goes home to his mansion and realizes that every living person will die alone and cries in his shower.

Thanks but I'll stick with the cheeseburger with two grilled cheese sandwiches for a bun.

Escaped? Bullshit. Right now those two are out there solving Sleepy Hollow Forest's toughest mysteries.

Cue the gross justifications from commenters - "Oh Dude!! Where were all these hottie-hot bang-bang teachers when I was in school?", "I guarantee he wanted it too", etc etc.

Also teenage boys smell.

And, on that infamous evening in New England, as the snow banks stood massive and the tears of hipsters everywhere fell as they watched the power they had habituated to receiving from whipping out their iDevices and typing furiously upon their single star...

Food doesn't care if you just had different food, four hours earlier...and if you have more different food four hours later.

Also, the mighty Cocksicle.

Clearly, the Dread Pirate Crunch is taking no prisoners.