Its shell was ripped from its body, according to the police report, and it appeared dead.

Shortly before he was forced out, Barack had an email conversation with a woman where he commented on what she had won the day before and asked what she would do “for excitement” after January 20th. She responded: “Not a lot. On a serious note. Delete these email, because from time to time they check people’s mail.”

Federal Express to Flavortown is Guy Fieri’s nickname for a blowjob.

This is also Roy Moore’s best/worst pick-up line.

Is it true un-promoted commenters can go but not mingle (or make direct eye contact) with Deadspin staff?

In no place in that description do they state that pants are required. You’re good, friend.

Leonard, we’ve got a winning record this year, and, frankly, some of the guys aren’t happy about it. We’ve got a reputation to uphold.

7. Ironic.

I wouldn’t mind if this replaced Thursday night games.

Man you must of either got beaten by a priest or woke up with a ruler up your ass.

There are sturgeon in the Chesapeake Bay, but I don’t think they get that big. They are definitely awesome fish, and I agree they did the right thing in letting it go. A sturgeon that big is really old and has earned the right to keep going.

As an American it’s just weird to see a headline about Jets catching anything.

It sucked they had to go sit in the box for 2 minutes afterward for hooking

Love this feature when I discovered it last year! I wrote something up in preparation for this Halloween:

YES. THIS IS MY FAVORITE POST OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, they don’t have the support of the U.S. Government. Stop with your bullshit.

It wasn’t “Nazi extermination camp”, it was GERMAN extermination camp.

If I had to guess, too chunky to be coke. I’d bet it’s crushed percs. Plenty of access to them in a locker room.

Three and a half million people? That’s a lot of cruise ships.

Puerto Rico has a larger population than 20 of the US States.

I think the US might better make preparations for mass migration from Puerto Rico to the mainland (in addition to rebuilding the island).

Any firearm will work underwater (gunpowder brings its own oxidizer to the party), it’s just the accuracy (especially of a handgun, hence the extended barrel) that suffers. I’m not sure that there’s anything that’s been done on a “waterproofing” front to make it special.