Sometimes, sometimes, I really think Hollywood is producing movies just for when I’m on a long Delta flight and they won’t give me any more water.

I don’t know what to do. This is why I never vote for county coroner. What if I elect a necrophiliac? better just to leave it blank. I can’t live with that on my soul.

I got drunk one night and started yelling at some guy because he kept spewing on about how he needs to “cleanse” and the benefits. Finally I snapped and was like YOUR BODY IS MADE FOR THAT JUST EAT SOME FIBER, AND POOP.

No real advice, but I can definitely offer solidarity; I’m in a very similar position.

How can they be helpless with the most basic stuff? They’re not. They just don’t want to do it, don’t want you to ask, and want you to think twice about ever asking again. Do they act that way in any other areas of their life? Do they constantly not listen and screw up stuff at work? No.

Your case is interesting because even though your partner is not a man she pucked up many of the behaviors that men exhibit in a family setting (and that drive women crazy). Of course it’s anecdotal evidence but it points to this whole thing being a social construct rather than biological programming. Very interesting.

RIGHT that’s how I feel when I see someone has 15 bridesmaids. ??? Like, I don’t think I’ve even met 15 people in my whole life. How can you have 15 friends so close they must be a part of the day? Eeek.

See, this makes me not want kids. I adore children, I’ve always wanted them at some point, but all I hear now is that it’s twenty years of being emotionally raw and unappreciated and torpedoing your relationship and career, so it sounds like fucking torture. Is it torture? are there any good things?

Here’s how much I hated being a bridesmaid- when I got married, I only had one, because I think the whole thing is a pain in the ass. A couple of friends were a bit put out about it, but I kind of didn’t get it. Why do I need six friends to wear matching dresses and stand around holding flowers when I get married?…

The only time I was a bridesmaid was great. The head bridesmaid was totally nuts (she had designed a theme and WOE BETIDE she who did not follow the theme), but I was in a far off land up until a week before the wedding, so I didn’t have to deal with any of that crap (there was a lot of crap. She tried to arranged…

It would never occur to my husband to google anything parenting related. It blows my mind how the most basic thing doesn’t happen when he’ll Google William H Macy’s birthdate the second he sees him in a movie

This story sums up all my fears about marriage and childrearing. I’ve always felt more lonely doing something with another person where the distribution of work was uneven (even if they do some) than doing everything by myself. I worry that, if I found myself in that position in a marriage/parenthood, that would be…

Weddings totally stress me out - not sure if I even actually believe in them (for myself - no judgement or ill-will towards anyone elses). This has caused friction at times with friends who wanted to me to get as psyched as they were for their weddings.

Of course I was happy for them - yet in one case, totally…

Or nah.

Well, it turns into stupid fucking drama three-quarters of the time. I am one of the people god never intended to go to the movies because I develop bat-hearing the minute I sit in a theater seat and can hear ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ANYWHERE IN THE STATE for the duration of time in the theater. I had to develop a…

Agreed. I feel the same way about bars. Keep your goddamn kids out of my R rated movies and out of my bars. When I saw Deadpool, there were so many kids “oooooohing” and “aaahing” and “did you see that? his head flew off-ing.” Goddamn annoying.

Sucks for parents who can’t find evening sitters.

How many muscles does this take?

Picture a white, wealthy 40-something man in a Whole Foods ignoring his attractive 30-something blonde wife and sneering at all of the other wealthy white people shopping at Whole Foods. Do you want to read a book narrated by and starting that man? If so, you’ll love Franzen.