I was very clearly kidding. You're not really this angry—no way anyone that unhinged could type in a straight line. You're just bored and looking for a fight. You won't find one here, I'm done with it. Now settle down.

Omaha?

Not even Blake Bortles's mom will watch that shit.

I understand why Josh Donaldson might be happier out of Oakland. In Toronto, every player is guaranteed to get the entire first week of October off.

Bills fans would prefer to stay down south where it's nice and warm and a little smelly and perfectly sized to slide your han—oh, I've lost focus.

People who think this is a bad career move for Thigpen are forgetting that getting 3 DUIs within city limits makes you the mayor of Myrtle Beach.

By these requirements, I'm a free agent NFL QB, yet no one covers it when I run into Starbucks with my pants off. Fuck this double standard.

Days of Thundering Headaches

Blake seems interested in all the different ways you can cook shrimp.

She is absolutely disgusting. I mean, there wasn't even any peanut butter on it.

At that point, she told him to come back later but he did not go back.

I was just talking to my agent about tracking that thing down and seeing if we could get it sent to the house and have some fun with it.

"Aaahhh... so it's OLIVER who can't remember something now!"

>the bunt has become a bit out-of-fashion recently

"We beg to differ." - Brandon Belt, Gregor Blanco, Juan Perez, etc.