Holy shit. It was not fun watching Roy Moore hold a lead for the entire night. Though it was satisfying to have it reverse with less than 10% of precincts left. Huzzah for meeting some basic level of human decency in Alabama.

That’s what I don’t understand about this stuff. Not only are these acts repugnant, wrong and immoral.... They’ve got to be wildly ineffective too.

Are you seriously asking this question? I’ll answer for you: “I’m your father, I’ve been abusing you for years, you’re scared to death of me, now you’re going to do what I say.”

“How do I get this woman I work with to have sex with me? I know, I’ll send her a video of me jacking it. That’ll do the trick.”

It spawned the best website ever.

I hate to tell you, Emma, but Heath Evans is a goldurn Christian.

Hey, remember when on live TV a drunk Joe Namath sold Suzy Kolber that he wanted to kiss her?

As much as I hate that family, you have to feel sorry for the kids. Imagine being taken out of school and sent to the eastern bloc. That can’t be easy.

I’m betting Joe Buck told all his friends but Jim Nantz may have kept it to himself.

Lesson 1: Never go to a cop for help.

Also I hope Nick Foles turns into Superman and wins a Super Bowl because 2017 is WEIRD

Every group of dudes I passed walking to work today in Philly was talking about ACLs like fucking expert physicians

Nope, he was walking off when someone threw something at him and that is when he deviated from leaving the field.

Like spending the afternoon watching the Jets or Giants is a better use of their time?

Only if it took 9 minutes and they didn’t score because the clock ran out...

(to conclude a 19 play/77 yard drive!),

Yeah, I’m not calling it that.

-dry heat guy

“No way Donald Trump wins a second term in 2020"