I was gonna suck my thumb, but I got high

Are we sure that isn’t Hank Hill’s dad, Cotton?

OK, he sucks now, but he was pretty funny as the little brother on Malcolm in the Middle.

Wait, does he look exactly like he sounds? Dear comment reader, you know he does.

Nope! Funny how it’s always the left that’s “turned” something “political.”

Jesus is a biblical figure. Troy and Greece had a war a long time ago. They aren’t related, but each carries its own historical significance. Saying “Jesus” is and has been for quite some time an expression of disapproving surprise, almost like “holy shit.” But one word instead of two. Referencing the Trojan war is…

Bill Belichick will sign him next week and he'll be a three-time All-Pro for New England

My favorite conversation on general chat last night was some asshole complaining that “snowflake kids these days” ruined WoW by demanding all of the modern conveniences WoW now has, only for someone to point out that WoW is 15 years old, “kids these days” don’t play it or care about it, and it was the old generation…

You should be ashamed of yourself

Jesus, I've never needed a whiskey at 6:30 am until now.

Rex Ryan would nurse those feet back to health. Day and night, tirelessly working. Without thanks, without pay, without reciprocated feelings.  That is what love is.  Being there when you aren’t asked to be.  Seeing the foot for what it is ON THE INSIDE and not for what it is on the outside, because that’s where true…

Appealing? No.

It’s a friendly. Wouldn’t it be better to send the last guy on the bench to replace this doofus rather than force him to play? Heck, send in the backup GK to embarrass him. 

LeBron’s celebrations are completely classless. It sends the wrong message to kids that the refs and the league didn’t assess a technical foul on his son’s team because of LeBron’s antics. Follow the rules like everyone else. Because of this star worship, I fell two damned points short of hitting the over.

Crossing a surging river around midnight. What could go wrong?

“cuck beta leftists.” I swear to god, you could not sound more desperate to seem cool as right-wing edgelords do when they string these words together.

Sounds to me like Arch Warhammer is a dick.

Right? As a red-blooded male, I would never in a thousand years be upset with that nickname.

Sinc.
Milton Berle’s Cock

I’d be chill too if I was worth $50b. What’s James Dolan and Jeanie Buss going to do to Ballmer? As rich as Dolan is Ballmer could buy him with his loose couch  money. He could buy MSG Corp and set fire to all the assets and it would have an immaterial impact to his net worth.

But will the game cheat when we all agree that last enemy attack was BS and will it forget to do certain stages of upkeep because the game got a little too drunk?