You’re looking at the box seats on TV during a triple crown event, thats pretty white. Those are owners or fancy folks dressing up for a big day at a televised race.
Thats not at all what you’ll see at the track on any other day. The interior betting rooms, the apron, the infield, the bars around the terrace. Go to…

Took me a second. “I know this movie is about running but what does it have to do with... oh, I get it.” Take your star.

Hey, Kat: “Amazing positive energy” won’t protect your child against measles.

I worked at a video store - back when those existed - and we’d occasionally get some ass who thought paying a late fee in pennies was gonna teach my CSR a lesson. I’d just pour them into a cup on a digital scale. Done. Thank you, have a nice day.

The sinkhole was because her tunnel collapsed. I imagine she’ll make another attempt when he leaves for the summit.

This “Thin Blue Line” version of the American flag that cops have created, and has been popping up everywhere the last few years, really goes to symbolize that there are no good cops.
The American flag (in theory), represents a United country, a patchwork quilt of people and states.
But in the version cops have…

Well, they do need the practice.

Cops are always saying how overworked they are and how dangerous their job is. But apparently they have time and resources to send 8 units to dish out some extrajudicial punishment on a parking scofflaw.
Maybe if they stopped assaulting people for no reason and went back to placing a tickets on windshields, the job…

The best thing you can do in this situation is distract the cougar with a laser pointer.

I’ll believe it when I see it.

And who could forget Wojtek, the bear that served in the Polish Army during WWII.

I loved Airwolf as a kid, then I saw it again on Netflix as an adult. It has many flaws, but I don’t care. The show has the chopper which is still cool, and it has Ernest Borgnine: it doesn’t need to prove itself beyond that.

what a brave man. trump should shout him out up in the gallery at the next state of the union, we can all learn from this great American’s heroics

Not just any mints. These are Mentos. During the 90s these were used routinely used to thwart security systems and guards allowing mint-holders access to many places they were not authorized to be. Can’t be too careful these days.

I hate you for ruining my love for my second favorite aircraft.

#3 - Chemtrail dispenser.

I’m not sure about this analogy. There’s a couple 8 year olds that play with us at the park and they dribble cirlces around me. They’re fast, too.

So I’m already at a disadvantage, but then I also have to hold back from ripping a screamer right at their heads, even though its my one true advantage over these kids. I…

I may finally watch a Galaxy game.

“Trying to get to Maryland” is not an acceptable defense.

I would’ve gone with “Trying to get out of Indiana.”

We can’t quit until everyone else quits.