You should probably just stick to Chipotle.

Mexico will have that wall built overnight. Could this have been Trump’s plan to trick them into paying for it?

Romo is a nice guy. Last season when he was hurt, I was out at his house, well I think it was a rental, but nice view of the ocean and all.

Left him a present in the shitter. Not intentionally, mind you. I tried to flush but the the toilet wasn’t flushing. I left soon after. Sorry, Tony.

Hope Solo was the best keeper in the women’s game five years ago. Today she’s only a starter based on legacy and benefit of a great defense in front of her. Given Solo’s age, diminishing skills, and that she’s a garbage human being who’s losing the respect of her team, its time to give someone else a shot.

What, is…

The domestic violence case against her is still being adjudicated.

A judge told the Times that making a false claim in Brazil was “not that serious” and “results in very little punishment.”

Its all a big misunderstanding. They told Lochte what the fine would be for breaking the door, and he was like “10 Brazillion dollars? Thats insane, even Michael Phelps doesn’t have that kind of money!”

No such letter in the Swedish alphabet. Norway and denmark have that, because they are silly.

That’s how I enter the pool on a dive. Without all the flipping and stuff.

First lesson in running, don’t trip over things, whether fast or slow.

I got five bucks on “got in a cab drunk and asked to go to a brothel.”

How long is the flight home?

And how long until Hope Solo is in the news for more terrible behavoir?

Better than my usual line. “oops”

I work in television. Coke or ecstacy in the circles I know.

Why were they even using a real gun? A rubber training gun can’t possible discharge because its not a real gun. They only cost about 20 bucks and Amazon will deliver it to your door so its not like its hard to come by.

I wouldn’t want to fight a jockey. Those dudes are scrappers. They’re fast, they have zero fear, and some of them are just downright crazy.

Oh, yeah, definitly Chicago. My hometown.
I’ve been all over, I know crazy shit goes down in other cities. I frequently mock the overused “Only in LA” because its prevelant in every video of crazy shit in LA, there’s always someone saying it.

Portlet sounds like a portable toilet company.

#OnlyinLA

And seriously, if my boss just grabbed me from my desk and said I needed to drive their car back from the airport, am I meant to sit at the airport curbside reading the owner’s manual to their car so I can reasonably drive it away?