I probably have $2000 worth of cosmetics and lotions under my bathroom sink. Much of it expired. I'm kind of a hoarder. But now my goal is to start slathering it all on, every day. It will be a combination beauty routine/decluttering project.

So I've been going to the same gym for like, 15 years, and I've only JUST started showering there. That's how long it took me to work up my courage and figure out what to put in my gym bag and get comfortable with the fact that I was going to be the only one there with unshaven nether regions. Guess what, showering…

I really hope that this wasn't posted by my 24-year-old, 5-foot-9, recently dumped-by-boyfriend, Coachella-loving daughter.

Me too! I'm kind of excited that so many others think her tongue looks like a long, ugly-ish penis. I thought it was just me.

True sex confession: when engaged in "new" sex, I feel the need to prove that I am the best fuck he ever had, complete with blow job, reverse cowgirl, and fake moans. Why do I do this? No seriously, I'm asking, WHY? I'm not going to be able to keep up that level of performance forever, should it become more than a…

Today's forecast in MN: 30 above, and many, many people commenting on the "heat wave".

Today's forecast in MN: 30 above, and many, many people commenting on the "heat wave".