warmsideofthepillow
WarmSideofthePillow
warmsideofthepillow

Jrue will truly end up hating her parents for naming her after her dad.

I told you that Jrue was a girl’s name.

Report: Drew Magary (Getting) Fat Again

What kills me is that he’s a fucking speed demon on there. Where the hell does that come from? Meaty propulsion!

Here’s the thing- in hockey, you really don’t need to have a bodybuilder’s body. (See: Bobby Ryan’s early years) It’s all about leg strength and conditioning. Phil is a crazy-good skater. I would bet good good money that he has some of the strongest legs in the NHL.

Yeah, I mean, there are historical comps, just within hockey itself (The Great One had the physique of a mathlete). But in terms of active players? He may well be unique in having this combination of dadbod while being legitimately one of the top tier players at his position.

Phil Kessel is a commemorative ticket lanyard away from being a dad wearing a Phil Kessel jersey.

The thing that is different though is that Phil is an elite player. So he’s not some fat goateed middle reliever who can throw a good inning every few games. He’s out there on the top line as one of the top scorers on the team that just won the Stanley Cup. Can’t really think of too many examples of elite players that

Phil Kessel looks like a regular guy who accidentally walked into the Pittsburgh locker room before a game while he was on a tour of a cheese factory and just kinda went with it.

So where does Phil Kessel rank on Pro Athletes that Don’t Look Like Pro Athletes? He’s gotta be up in, like, the “fat relief pitcher” percentile.

Honestly, it’s starting to resemble a less-funny Buzzfeed.

The Concourse is now Gawker 2.0 — didn’t you get the memo?

Seriously. I mean, how many ankle-knee twists of guys in piles does he need to do before people say “you know what, this guy’s really not worth having around our league?”

It’s almost like tThis guy is an incorrigible shitbag.

It’s almost like this guy is an incorrigible shitbag.

Can’t he borrow a fresh one from Antonio Alfonseca?

“I bet that’s not real blood.”

No, I mean literally. Props to Bauer are what got him in this mess.

Props to Bauer for giving it a try.

Ok, so let me get this straight: