Thanks detective, for your totally useless assumptions. Good work.

It must be hard not to hit someone who says “hit me”. Like, come on man, you’re literally asking for it.

They are, it’s true.

Good Lord.

Can you imagine, being a US citizen and going through all the trouble of buying that given the restrictions only to pull the panties down and get an eyeful of mosaic pixels.

A few years ago, I said I thought it would be awesome to live long enough to see an apocalypse.

I have a huge problem with the President describing the US military as ‘his.’ I did not swear an oath to him. I swore it to the Constitution of the United States. He is the Commander-in-Chief, but the military belongs to the United States, and to the citizens of this country.

Hey at least they showed us libs good, right?

According to a statement from the Pentagon, the bomb was the “right munition” for targeting ISIS.

Because micropenis

“Ham at 57 degrees.”

Do you remember when people used to say that 2016 was the worst year and that they could not wait for the 2017?

Wow. Hitler is really seeing a rise in popularity during passover.

That’s a brilliant idea. I hate that it’s such a brilliant idea.

You have no idea how much I hate that I’m here telling you that your plan is brilliant and thank you for caring about your kiddos so much. Also considering carrying a couple lollipops in my purse just in case I need to keep my own kids quiet in an emergency sometime.

Legit question... isn’t that how most domestic murder/suicides happen? Statistically I would assume men are the majority murderers in this type of situation.

I’m already assuming the shooter’s a white male.

Is it wrong that I am making the assumption in my head that the shooter is a man and the teacher is a woman? I mean that seems to be what the odds are, but I shouldn’t assume that, right?

Obligatory.

I wonder what the soviet response to this would have been. They always had a way of one upping the US and it usually failed spectacularly. Hydrogen fueled SCRAM jet powered submarine sized rocket that dumped mutant blood thirsty horse sized ants on the capitalists below?