I think at this point it’s clear MacFarlane was warning us to train for the giant chickens that will soon come to fight us all.

Lighten up, Francis.

In fairness calling Don Lemon is a cocksucker is probably (Hopefully?) true but as another gay man that has been called a cocksucker more than a few times, yep, and my partner loves it you bigoted piece of shit.

I can’t speak to the legitimacy of the Bennett photo, but I do know this picture is real and it pisses me off. Really, though, we all kind of secretly knew.

This is vindication for Sammy Hagar fans everywhere.

To minimize your pain depending on your browser:

Also choose Democracy to build up your coffers, but when it’s time to rule the world you hard switch to Communism.

Being a petulant tyrant who sues for peace when things don’t work out but is otherwise an aggressive world-ender is the only way to play, as I understand it.

Yeah, your not fooling anyone with that shark-apologist propaganda, Mr. Shark

Ryan Mallett was refusing to hand over the Ravens playbook?

Honestly both.

“Predictive algorithms just don’t get me”

Nope

Well I asked Alexa if this would be an issue for me and she said it was fine.

Because I’m a dick. Welcome to Deadspin for the first time.

Stop bringing carry-on bags that won’t fit under the seat in front of you on planes. Just stop doing it. You will instantly be 100x calmer during the entire process, as you sit and watch all the idiots stand in line (or even better, stand in line just to wait for their section to be allowed to stand in line) so they…

Look at these boobies!

Photo caption: A pair of great tits.

Tell that to my fuckin parole officer.

Really it’s gonna be me with just shoes, a jersey, a hat, and a bat.