Remember when Duncan Keith high-sticked all his teeth out?

It will be kind of funny if the whole Trump organization goes down as a result of him facing additional scrutiny from being the president.

Mitt is a good choice as driver because you know he isn’t drunk.

But what if I didn’t own a TV but wanted to talk about VALIS?

“The relationship was very warm and when we walked away it was a very friendly walk.”

We will be happy to sell them some more fighter jets though. 

It’s a shortcut to finding the cool people at a party?

Also you can get a table at any restaurant if you go during the superbowl.

Their breakfast biscuit sandwiches are better by far than the mcD shit. Now you could probably squeeze 1/4 cup of butter out of one, but still. An egg & cheese biscuit and a black coffee makes a wonderful hangover breakfast.

...Quietly asks his locker room neighbor why 69 is funny.

delicious ass-fucking meat

Or a massive, useless military. 

Fear will keep the local systems in line

I would be nice to see Congress flex some muscle and prevent the United States from fucking around in a country in crisis, for once. But the problem is the various shadowy government agencies under direct control of the executive branch have already been fucking Venezuela for years. It's too late to be the good guys…

If only donald’s wall was up already it would have stopped these poor women from being smuggled across the border from China into the United States. 

Yeah we all use sex to cope, tonnns of sex right? totally. Certainly not no sex.

If violent behavior is a contagious disease, what is the effect of having underpaid, probably just barely-holding on, people sitting there watching super violent videos all day?

I like to think when someone like Donj comes to Chicago he gets all psyched-up like he’s going into a war zone and travels in a convoy of SUVs with a bunch of armed security scanning for threats. Stay frosty guys, the maga-hat hunters are out!

That’ll happen on the south side. 

That’s the fun of it, you have to try to get that perfect selfie in front of the bean while still dodging shots. The whole downtown area is just a never-ending shootout. That’s why I come to work locked & loaded and wearing body armor every day.