I’m glad the kid learned his lesson that the flag and the pledge are, in fact, not racist at all. You know, they could have lesson plans and history book readings but nothing really educates you like getting arrested as a FUCKING 6th grader for not participating in the 2 minutes hate.

Also since these America-first assholes can’t allow any other languages to be spoken, our major options are Canada, GB, Australia. All with highly restricted immigration. No Ms. Alvarez, I’ll stay here and fuck your country up.

I didn’t read this because I assume the problem is those lazy, unionized teachers.

I dunno, I saw some Mexican Americans in Nashville recently. It’s not hard to believe they’ll make it to Kentucky any day now.

Crime to avoid? Ok, I guess you better stay out since it’s so scary. As we know there is no crime outside of cities.

Yeah he’ll probably walk around the senate floor saying “fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you...”

He’s got such a 1990s view of the drug trade it’s hilarious. I hope when he sits down with Xi Jinping, Xi is like “yeah, I just executed 20 drug dealers last week. No big deal” and poor lil Donnie is like “yeah well... we executed a muslim in texas and we didn’t let him see his imam first”

You can tell he’s been repeatedly coached-up on the talking points and then goes out there and gets immediately lost and just randomly tries to hit those points he remembers.

Yeah, these guys may be conservative ghouls but they are law nerds first and foremost. 

It is a pretty good candidate for an electric conversion.

I accidentally caught his speech live on the radio. Normally I can’t listen to him without getting extremely pissed off but MAN that was so crazy it was entertaining. What a rambling lunatic! Even NPR pointed out a bunch of lies in his speech in their analysis. NPR!

A profitable clusterfuck $$

Now they have democratic elections so that makes it ok in his mind. Of course, elect a socialist and we might have to fuck your country up again...

“galaxy brain” is also anti-semitic. I’ll await your sincere apology. 

Hard to imagine Amazon taking that much of a hit. It’s a leviathan at this point.

We need to talk more about war crimes. Obama should not have led us to “move on” from the Bush administration shit. Centrists on both sides loooove to skip over, ignore, and forget about this shit. It’s 2019, they should not be able to get away with murder. 

I should set up a Swiss bank account just in case someone accidentally wires me some money. What’s the minimum balance, like $50?

“Compassionate combat”

Really, it’s the fault of the generals for not telling soldiers they can’t do that.

We deserve to get a widespread ebola outbreak in this country to thin the herd.