I want to argue with your conclusion about deep dish pizza but I also find any argument about deep dish pizza to be tedious and repetitive. Anyway I disagree with this idea I’ve seen from local food writers that true chicagoans don’t order deep dish.

Does she think a skunk's defense is to pee on its attacker?

He's such a petty bitch. I love it. I hope they really give it to him for the next 2 years.

A couple of fancy new jets that get crashed in training accidents.

I hope it gets authorized and they spend 24 months selecting design/engineering/construction companies, developing and finalizing designs and staging construction equipment. Then after the 2020 election the whole thing gets cancelled and thrown in the trash. So close!

Wow, how much is BIG BOVINE paying you Bert?

It is weird, but it seems a lot of people are in the same boat. 

Plus it’s a way to use your stale bread. 

I kind of disagree. The pancakes I make at home are always mediocre no matter what tweaks I make. A good breakfast place can make a great pancake that’s worth paying for. Usually there are other items on the menu better than pancakes though.

Yeah, you really need to have people ready to eat them as they come off the iron. And for yourself you have to be ready to eat it immediately and shut down the waffle-making during that time. 

TOO HOT

Art museum curator voice: “The black holes represent amazon and the water represents all of our money”

Can Seattle’s NHL Team Recapture Vegas’s Magic?

Derelicte!

I want 2 novelty formations. The 11 heaviest players on the team and the 11 lightest players on the team. Now we’re playing madden 64

oooh I never realized how easy it is to annoy a kid. Mine was crying and making a scene in public last weekend and we told him we’d leave him and come back later because he was crying so loud we weren’t worried about anyone taking him.

Horniness overcomes racial prejudice. 

I used these on my kids when they were babies. The first one fought me with %100 of his strength. The second one just stared at me dumbly like the terminator lady above as saline drained out of his other nostril. Weird.

Following the US rules of engagement, China could drone strike the Trump family funeral and say they killed terrorists and some extra people that were unlucky. 

I’m glad donald is fucking up our global standing. I see it as one of the only positive things about his presidency that he’s turned this exposed this country as the backwards wasteland that it is. The US needs to sit down for a while and let some others lead.