Bazan version

Pretty sure you stole this from one of my C++ programs I wrote while failing computer science. 

I’m just waiting for “Well yeah they did shoot the wrong guy, but they found a facebook picture of him with a joint in his lips so...”

Plus bombs are cool and support AMERICAN jobs so. Gotta drop em somewhere

I do agree America has a God problem.

Killing human life is a grave crime when it happens to a clump of cells but fucking immaterial when it happens to schoolbus of Yemeni children.

I might get one good laugh just from looking at Ron Chernow.  

Stephen, you might want to do some fact checking. I’m pretty sure Chris Pratt lead the raid that killed OBL.

Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why did Judas rat to the Romans while Jesus slept?

ha, they do look kind of similar until you notice that the two maps are at totally different scales. 

“... Is this the result of direct energy weapons? Ranged weapons that inflict damage on a target by emitting highly-focused energy? The answer is most likely yes.”
Hm, I’m not sure if you know what “most likely” means dude.

Socialists do not wear shoes. Change my mind.

oh they do? yeah but still...

That’s stupid. You can park anywhere on the street and the dibs system ruins street parking for everyone during the winter. 

hur hur good one Fox News.

It’s basically like when I tell my wife she’s spending too much money and then she immediately goes to Starbucks after that. Gotta show who’s the real boss. 

I used to launch off the swing all the time as a kid. Recently tried to show my kid and for a minute I thought I broke both of my ankles. 

It just didn’t matter what Obama did and it doesn’t matter what Donald does. Obama was made fun of for being educated and ordering a burger with fancy mustard. He could done nothing but stood around on the white house porch and smoked blunts with Jay-Z and the criticism would have been exactly the same coming from the…

Hey donald, do you know what would really make America great again? if you showed these weak girly-men snowflakes what a real man looks like and brought back duels! This dispute with the coward, John, could be easily and permanently settled.

There’s always a safe place to land for terrible people with high positions on their resume. 

We need a summary of the first wave of Donald’s appointments and how they have all turned out. For someone who has such a good brain, he’s sure made a lot of terrible personnel choices. Some reporters should be asking him why he’s failed so hard in this regard.
I like, too, how he torches people on the way out. Asshole…