"Hey, every time The Thing has a Crowning Moment of Awesome? Let's remind the audience of child abuse."

I thought the same thing. Everything looks grey and miserable.

The original Swamp Thing had its moments.

Ha. Patton had a small part in the film, and he mentioned that Snipes would lock himself in his trailer for days, smoking marijuana and getting increasingly paranoid. He'd only communicate with the director via Post-It notes, that he wrote as the character Blade.

If he was more rocky than rubbery, it would have been great. He looked more like that walking scab in The Venture Brothers' FF4 parody team.

Yeah, Blade II is an odd choice. Other than the CGI meets WWE final fight, it's a pretty solid film. Blade III's only redeeming value was Patton Oswalt's anecdotes about Wesley Snipes' frequent temper tantrums.

This was the plot of an episode of "Teen Titans Go!" I'm not even kidding.

I was a latchkey kid, and I remember in the early 90s, WGN used to run Night Court re-runs ALL THE DAMN TIME. I loved that stupid show with all my adolescent heart.