Unless the horses are named Li’l Sebastian they can go right to hell!

Smoking is gross. Indoor smoking is even more gross. Indoor smoking that ruins original art pieces and haute couture gowns people spent months making for these idiots is reprehensible.

But you kept talking to her?

I loved the kid’s knowing side smile after he gets “bopped,” like he can’t wait now to harass Pence for an apology.

Did Kushner & Kellyanne Conway get one too?

I’m pro ink but Miley’s arms look like bad tat management. I want to hear the new album, my secret wish is that she’ll end up as this generation’s Dolly Parton (who’s also covered in tats, so at least there’s that). And: good burn, girl.

I completely get Amy on this. I worked in the service industry and I’ve also been suuuuper poor. I’m rich now, not like Amy rich, but I can pay all my bills, go out to eat, and still put money in savings every month rich (so solidly middle class). I’m a generous tipper. I’ve been known to leave a $50 tip on a $30…

Jeff Sessions hates sniggers.

Here’s Pitt on whether he’s going through a mid-life crisis:

Where does this madness end? It’s frankly ridiculous to insert asparagus into the story of a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father and can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is…

Like, why would anyone try to actually scam us?

I love Aidy. I wish she’d get a fraction of Kate McKinnon’s publicity because she’s also an MVP on SNL. She doesn’t have to do much to make me lol.

Speaking of, I’m wondering why a Matt McGorry tweet isn’t featured here. Is he okay?

Catastrophe is worth the price of Amazon Prime, in fact it’s the reason I signed up in the first place.