I want to be mad about this review revealing a major plot point I hadn't known about before the fact, but considering it makes the movie sound like something that will make me unbelievably angry if I don't know about it going in? I think I'm going to be grateful instead. Ick. Just… ick.

Glad to hear from you, I hope things remain on the upswing. Still thinking of you!

Oh no! Candlejack got Kangaroosevelt-

Yeah, but I would rather they make a crappy movie out of AssCreed than mess up games with stories I like more… like Uncharted and TLOU.

This movie looks like hot garbage, but god help me I will probably watch it twice. Edibles, don't fail me now!

Thank you, I was never going to watch this to find out for sure.

I can see your other comments on this thread you know.

… Oh. *walks away dejectedly to Christmastime is Here*

I love those stupid games and for some reason that makes me want to see this stupid movie even more.

Our shit's all fucked up today. Disqus is screwed worse than usual, articles are going live too soon, dogs and cats are living together.

They just don't love us anymore.

I could explain why, but I have a feeling you're fishing for something I don't want to help you land. But good luck with your random hate-boner!

That was not how the trailer framed it.

I figured he had her leased, like his other wives.

I did cringe all over when the first line of the trailer I saw for this abomination was Franco's character seeking permission from Cranston's character to marry his daughter. And they ran with that, seemingly making the entire movie about Franco's attempts to win him over. I could have bitten through my tongue, there…

There is a 2ft tall minion that sits on his desk with a baseball hat on it. Every so often I turn it so it can't look at me, but someone always turns it back. I want to assume because they don't want it looking at them, but it could just be because they hate me.

I hope their personal hell is just nothing but this movie on repeat infinitely.

Urge to kill… rising.

FUCK! One of my coworkers is way WAY too into Minions and I'm sure I will be hearing about that endlessly. From an otherwise normal grown ass man.

I really wasn't up for the latest version of "Jungle Animals in Decidedly Non-Jungle Situations" and it looks like I was right not to be. It doesn't help that the previews and ads for this somehow manage to make it as obnoxious as possible.