Funny... It’s terrible. It’s catchy. It’s terribly catchy.

It’s terribly catchy.

In about a week I’ll probably be belting it in the car so...

You’re right... and yet... I loved it????

Oh god.

o___O

I’m actual human garbage tho. so.

“Keep this up and your fiancee won’t take you to the homecoming dance.”

But for such a rough summer filled with madness, this probably the best we’ll get, it’s what we, America, deserve.

Until he inevitably gets divorced again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

“Why did you have to go and say goodbye?”

Isn’t he engaged to a teenager now? Pretty sure he’ll have his second family quickly and this will all be a faint memory.

Ugh, him again? I thought we were over this dude like a year ago! Is this one of those “sponsored” stories? Also, side-eye to Ms Minaj for joining in. Gurl, you can do better!

That hawk was an asshole.

But did the groundhog keep doing it over and over again?

I just think that statement is a classic dad joke.

These stories are about cute animals so, cute. And when there’s happy ending, sure. But really it’s kind of sad. We’ve encroached so far into wild lands and displaced so many animals, especially those who have to roam to graze. In the last year or so I remember a deer with a halloween pumpkin bucket and a fox stuck in…

Wehigh Lehigh?

I’d be absolutely crushed by that. I’m still haunted by the story of a sea lion released post-rehabilitation only to be immediately eaten by a great white shark right in front of his rescuers. (That one is wholly on the humans though - they dropped him off in the middle of a known great white territory)

Pretty sure that a groundhog putting its head in a can means its exhausted by the prospect of two more months of hot-as-fuck summer. I might be projecting though.

‘“The only disappointment was the furry little devil took off without saying thank you,” said Chief Ed Shupp.’

My favorite animal helping video is the one with the soldier who releases a mouse back into the wild. It quickly gets taken by a hawk. He calls himself a murderer for getting the poor mouse eaten.

but whats the status of the shadow