You fucking dipshits don’t even know who these guys are? And you write for a sports website? Go stick your heads in a toilet. You disgust me. You disgust your parents. You are a pox on humankind.

I remember Al Kaline (the inventor of the battery), Bill Freeman (author of “ESPN: The Uncensored History), and Red Showwhendines (the founder of Open Table).

-Hasn’t seen Field of Dreams

Donald Young is an absolute piece of shit. He gets is ass kicked, sulks like a bitch and acts like a classless asshole, then shamelessly plays the race card and accuses his opponent of racism.

Twitter is dramatically worse than Facebook, as evidenced by the fact that it is the one of the two that is the preferred tool of Donald Trump.

And that’s out of UNC’s 1500 athletes.

This is a vaginal discrepancy of Napoleonic proportions, whereby the scatological emphasis on placebo scrotum will no doubt infiltrate the sphincter entomologist to a ricky ricardo degree of flatulence and renegotiate every glandular reconnaissance which hath no fury of flagrant indigestion.

I’m sure you must all feel very proud that your basketball team got off essentially because it was found that your entire university was revealed to be a fraud and not just it’s athletic department.

Yes I was going to namedrop golf in the first sentence of this tennis blog but I didn’t want readers to faint from excitement.

“Sure, maybe I threw away my life pursuing a trivial athletic thrill in the aftermath of a major tragedy, but at least I did it to the extreme!!!!”

If I had to guess, based on time spent holding both, I’m more likely to die with my dick in my cold dead fingers.

That’s quite an honor, I’ll wear it with pride. #FuckTheBeach

Fuck the beach. The beach is the fucking worst. You know who goes to the beach? Miserable fucking people go to the beach, to pretend that they’re not miserable fucking people.

Who is this GLORYBAGGER who can’t even acknowledge THE LORD for his cornhole greatness?

You’re running 30 second dead sprints with 10 second breaks while trying to hit a ball moving 85 mph and purposefully moving your opponent around their half of the court (while they’re doing the same thing) - for 4 hours - and you’re comparing that to downhill skiing?

Billy Beane is a fraud. He loves being in Oakland where he can coast on his reputation and never face serious scrutiny. He can always sell the fan base on an upcoming rebuilding job. What has he ever won? When has he last consistently been in the playoffs?

Burneko - we don’t work together anymore, you can’t just take my 17-part preview idea/format and write it for another website. It’s not yours.

A reverberant echo of hope for a nation in crisis.

Who gives a shit. They’re just a bunch of fucking dorks anyway, amiright?

I don't know. I think maybe the world's saddest Nets fan is the one taking the picture.