you say “top 10 defense”, I say “best DVOA defense”

i grew up a semi-spoiled suburban brat in the ‘90s (life was good), and I can’t remember myself: how much do kids care about having their own birthday party? is it a huge deal, or is it more something that parents do out of habit / obligation? any parents decided not to have a birthday party one year? how’d the kids…

“The drive downfield” is one of the most elemental parts of football. Deciding when to punt or attempt a field goal or go for it on 4th down; defenses having to cover a deep ball, etc. College OT is videogame football.

it’s a popular phrase if you’re a college basketball fan. It refers to schools in conferences that aren’t Big Ten / SEC / Pac-12 / Big 12 / Big East / ACC. Think Missouri Valley Conference (Illinois State, Drake, Northern Iowa, etc.), MAC (Ohio, Northern Illinois, etc.), Mountain West (Colorado State, Wyoming, etc.)…

ah yes, since corporations love doing what they can to put more money in their workers’ pockets

“That’s not sustainable” says the men about those working for a consistently profitable business which sells cans of beer for $10

have you ever been to a bar / restaurant? 

do you tip bartenders who pour you a beer?

I was bored a few days ago and read some of Bill’s early 2000s stuff. the misogyny is mortifying. and (spoiler alert) the rest of his material does not age well either. 

shortly after getting my license in 2002, I got a speeding ticket for going 52 in a residential (25 mph). Three more mphs and I would’ve lost my job.

by the logic of this horrendous take, all officials in all sports should ignore egregious cheating and let it happen because heaven forbid you might be noticed

Serena has verbally abused female judges and umpires on multiple occasions, but yep, sure is fighting for women’s rights!

strange that you think that Serena wasn’t “prepared for Osaka today”. I don’t think that the outcome had anything to do with preparation. I think that Serena simply didn’t have the game to handle Naomi’s controlled power.

great point; their burger buns fall apart so quickly

if I have leftover sushi at lunch, sure, why not?

yeah, i thought that this was perfectly normal behavior.

how’d you end up there?

i wonder if the executive chefs of fast food places feel ashamed. i’d imagine that they appreciate getting home at a decent hour.

appointing pro-choice judges and signing gun control laws

crazy idea: a team’s jersey actually says the team’s name on it