That’s some solid Jezebel writings.

I thought all Canadians knew Scott.

Rhianna is going to be fine, because she’s Rhianna. But she’s not going to win this one. She’s forked over bank for courtside tickets just to stew in frustration for 48 minutes.

No meme has ever made the world a better place.

My dad’s ‘96 300ZX is still sitting in his backyard. He’s moved on to his 06 350Z, so the rebuild is basically up to me. Any tips on getting started?

My snap bracelet collection takes up all the space.

That’s good, because I derive my self-worth through Kinja stars. You’ve kept me from walking into traffic. At least for today.

No one said it was easy. Did you see a sign somewhere that life was easy?

That fact that someone needed to come up with a term to describe applying self-discipline is completely reflective of the problem. Everything needs to be catchy. Everything needs a hashtag and a meme. Everything needs a blog post.

When’s the last time you saw Clayton make an extended appearance on ESPN that wasn’t him eating pizza bagels in his room?

Would you feel better if he started with a loud “Kaaaaammmmeeeeeeeeee”?

Yeah, but how’s the soundtrack?

What more could the Caps have done in the playoffs this year? They played well and got burned by a ton of puck luck in both rounds.

Counterpoint: You don’t speak Serbian. You’re out of your element.

Who would have thought that Pittsburgh was a shitty hockey town? I guess the Canadians were right.

It nearly unimaginable how boring professional basketball is. I tried watching game 4 of this series and it just so lazy.

Vampires are cold. No one wants to bone frozen meat.

And was he arrested?

More and more

The fact that you found 4 professionally inane people to talk about this makes me remember why I can’t find a mate. People are fucking stupid.