Oh does he want to put an end to Obamacare? I thought it was "I want to put an end to Obamacare and in its place put an identical plan that's funded by tax dollars. Oh, I'm not supposed to say tax dollars. I mean fairy dust. A completely different health plan funded by fairy dust that will be way better. Pretty sure.…

Listen, a nose is just this gross clump of hairy tissue THAT JUTS OUT OF YOUR FACE. Enchancia, apparently named after Dr. Robert Rey's fantasy land, has done away with the deformed issue for good. Now she can be pretty.

"Robert, are you listening? Robert, Robert. Hey, Robert. Roooobbbbeeeeeerrrrtttt. Hi."

My only idea is that she changed because she ate real food and wanted to avoid baby bump rumors. Italian food is no food baby joke ;)

I just wanted to say that I, too, got caught up in a sexual relationship with an internet stranger when I was 13 (I'm 23 now). And my best friend was in a very similar situation where she sent a stranger pictures of her topless, and he later began threatening her. It seems incredibly commonplace and is really…

Agreed. I had no idea she had a "momager" but it all makes sense now. That quote does not, but I expect nothing less now. It's heartbreaking though.

My mom gave me the best sex talk ever when I was 13ish. I wish I could've appreciated it then as I do now, because I remember being incredibly embarrassed then. She explained that sex was natural, and she knew I would have opportunities for it as I got older. She stressed that sex was really great, and that it should…

So I actually kind of love that woman's hook nose. It's perfect for her face. Unconventional noses are my favorite though.

Haha, really all babies are actually little goblins, when you think about it ;) she seems cute though, but maaybeeee a little too calculating (look at how she stares at the camera!). If we're going to be fair, the author's baby terrifies me with those hauntingly beautiful china doll eyes. I can say these things…

I can't believe your kid lost to that goblin. That's some bullshit right there.

This did actually make me cry. Can I save this video to show my future children?

I can't believe you found Candy Corn M&M's. I saw the bag when you were explaining the Candy Corn Oreo Cookie was bullshit cardboard and thought, "Oh, I'm glad she got a bag of M&Ms to make her candy corn experiment worthwhile. I use M&Ms to make a lot of situations better, and eating Candy Corn Oreos seems like one…

Haha I was going to respond with, "Yes, duh." But ohhhh how I have been proven wrong. I still remember the first day I ate candy corn. I was 5 and at my super cool babysitters' house (they had a pet pig! they were sarcastic high school teens! with princess hair! they thought my 5 year old antics were adorable!). They…

And compared to other countries, that's not even that great. You are lucky though.

I never even thought about it that way, that's really interesting! I've grown up in a time where it's abortion yes or abortion fuck no, with little gray area/indifference.

I am in my 20s so it's still pretty difficult for me to honestly say "Wow, I feel old." But to read that Abercrombie is no longer a perquisite for popularity kind of freaks me out. Not being able to wear Abercrombie was a thing that I had to deal with in highschool, like feeling confident with the braces and learning…

I'm kind of uncomfortable that she didn't? Mom knew that baby didn't want that stupid cheerio, but I get the feeling she didn't think it was okay to pick her up while on camera.

I would not watch Ryan Lochte's own reality show, but I would be all over the transcript of it. "Memorizing lines, and trying to like, say them and still like, do movement and all that" is hilarious and I want more of it.

That was the impression I got, too.