Hey! I am employe…oh.

And now I am imagining a berobed Nic Cage cackling madly at a breakdancing Jedi ghost.

And now I am imagining a berobed Nic Cage cackling madly at a breakdancing Jedi ghost.

So, it starts out with Han and Leia trapped in a failing marriage that ends with Han dismembering Leia and going to prison, where he transforms into Luke Skywalker and goes back to his aunt and uncle on Tatooine, where he eventually gets mixed up in Jabba's criminal organization and falls in love with his beautiful…

So, it starts out with Han and Leia trapped in a failing marriage that ends with Han dismembering Leia and going to prison, where he transforms into Luke Skywalker and goes back to his aunt and uncle on Tatooine, where he eventually gets mixed up in Jabba's criminal organization and falls in love with his beautiful…

Not that I can see right now. If you don't want to pay the ten bucks for an account, my advice would be to try again in a month or so. The pay wall goes up and down depending on the whims of the administrators.

Not that I can see right now. If you don't want to pay the ten bucks for an account, my advice would be to try again in a month or so. The pay wall goes up and down depending on the whims of the administrators.

Apparently the second was written during the writer's strike, which probably messed up a fair chunk of the film.

Apparently the second was written during the writer's strike, which probably messed up a fair chunk of the film.

Also, to be a bit more germane to the topic at hand, I hope this hypothetical new movie gives greater prominence to Dickbot the Blender Guy. He really is the glue that holds the franchise together.

Also, to be a bit more germane to the topic at hand, I hope this hypothetical new movie gives greater prominence to Dickbot the Blender Guy. He really is the glue that holds the franchise together.

Well this news is quite bloody apropos. Over the past week I've been marathoning a thread at Something Awful (sadly stuck behind the paywall) started by this Russian (?) girl who's been rewatching the trilogy, and some of the analysis she and everyone else in the thread has been doing has been amazing. Her overall…

Well this news is quite bloody apropos. Over the past week I've been marathoning a thread at Something Awful (sadly stuck behind the paywall) started by this Russian (?) girl who's been rewatching the trilogy, and some of the analysis she and everyone else in the thread has been doing has been amazing. Her overall…

I hope this flight of fancy ends with Picard and Riker exploding Lucas' head with phasers.

I hope this flight of fancy ends with Picard and Riker exploding Lucas' head with phasers.

And then it takes you about thirty minutes to figure out that he died.

And then it takes you about thirty minutes to figure out that he died.

…telling me I've got to beware.

…telling me I've got to beware.

Aw, why do we always have to use the Greek pantheon? Why can't we ever do something with the Egyptians?