I used to work for this really attractive lady who had nothing but big fat boyfriends. I asked why once. She said “He has a big fat belly, big fat hands, and big fat feet. Tell you anything about his dick?” And I never broached the subject again.

video should have had the song “I Kissed a Girl” as soundtrack, and the name of the organization should be changed to “The Lickety Splits”.

my counter is perfectly shaped to create bench space next to the stovetop, and my hellions spend much time there. it’s the pink salt kids, the secret to ultimate flavor.

ah, but the audiences of the day did have the gayest, outest, most flamboyant personality of all time on almost every variety and game show that aired for decades...Paul Lynde!

can we do cassette decks next? It is getting kinda sad out there in the Goodwills; as it appears every single 70s and 80s deck has given up the ghost. All those wonderful bootleg tapes I have are just fine, but the players didn’t make it 20 years...

Before Underworld, there was Freur. The record “Doot Doot” is the SINGLE MOST HOMOEROTIC THING EVER RECORDED. You don’t even have to be gay to be turned on by it. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. This record is audio panty remover.

walk up to any Japanese person and ask “Do you have a pencil?” This is their first sentence in English class, and whether or not they have a pencil, the fact that they’ll know what you said - and how to respond - will light them up like a candle for days to come. Seriously.

PUT SRIRACHA IN BARBECUE. awwwwwwwwwwww yeah....

the sad thing about anime in general is how few new ideas there are in the field. i am sure other commentators will point out one or two spectacular “out of nowhere” examples of exceptions to prove the rule. but there it is...nothing new under the sun. what doesn’t grow, decays.