ha! the other day my husband almost broke my nose with a wayward elbow while he was sleeping. Before I realized it wasn't broken I remember thinking to myself, "how do I explain this to people without sound like a DV victim giving a flimsy excuse?". I mean can you imagine that conversation?

you know wut? I'll take all 3. :D

I'm telling ya, there's something about olive oil! when I was about..7 or 8 I developed an allergic reaction to some cheap laundry detergent. Most of my body broke out into an itchy, scabby, ashy rash and no amount of OTC ointment, prescription ointment, or steroids would make it go away. Eventually my dad came up…

Well, I guess that explains my parents then; healthy lifestyle fitness freaks who DON'T AGE! I swear to god my mom is a vampire. Hmm, they also slather themselves in olive oil (for realz), and primarily only eat fish or chicken, so that might have something to do with it as well.

HA! I was just about to edit my comment to bring up deadlifts as well. But yeah, its the lying that gets me, just...why lie you know? oh right, shes got a meaningless celebrity instragram "career" to maintain.

ppft, reminds me of perms, wtf was that all about white people?

oh, sure, I WANTED to see the blood moon, but then it had to be all shitty, overcast, and snowy in Chicago. :(

UGH ALL THE FEELZ. This has been such a crazy week to be a wrestling fan. RIP The Ultimate Warrior, you've taken your last spaceship loaded with rocket fuel to the sky. :(

vaguely non sequitur anecdote: While my husband and I were on our honeymoon, we visited my mom's home island where Pirates of the Caribbean 2 was mostly filmed. Johnny Depp spent a lot time there, bought a huge tract of land, and developed a good rapport with the local folk. Anyhoo, so my husband and I are just…

oh please, your deflective tit for tat is a poor defense of Suey Park's self promotion. Your essentially saying 'nuh uh, he started it first!!!'; most adults realize that's a piss poor argumentative stance, and its generally employed as last defense against (rightfully) being called out for whining like a snotface.…

"Or maybe you know minorities are fed up with so call Allies, who are ready to trow them under the bus to make money or to prove that they are so progressive."

Hm, well the last dinner party I went to (late 20's to early 30's, married profession types in Chicago), that's pretty much the only thing the women talked about. Bored me to tears, so I hung out with the guys instead.

As soon as I read LW1 I KNEW the comment section would fill up with variations of "GAWD I'm so tired of hearing about girls who don't like other girls, don't they know they are just internalized misogynists? Don't they know their guy friends aren't true friends? Girls like that just like the attention from men, and…

Uhm...a guy pretty much said that in the pending comments?

jesus fucking christ, might as well cut to the chase and start calling Ans957 and people like myself Uncle Toms.

Its cute when she assumes all dissenting opinions come from white people, bonus points of hilarity when she assumes they come from white men. The mental gymnastics (and ethical hypocrisy) involved to arrive at that world view, and accept it as correct....jesus, its mind boggling.

I'm a cunt; rude responses and bitchy .gifs are my bread and butter.

My god, when did you develop the amazing ability to divine why people laugh at the things they do?!?!?! ARE U A WIZARD?!!@!

Would you prefer a brown person telling other brown people to shut up? Cause if so, I'm totally your gal, and I'm totally down for telling other brown people to quit their fucking bellyaching.

You don't understand things all that well do you? If you have a legitimate learning disability I apologize, but if not....