It’s supposed to be four minutes, but you only need one.

The-Dream is criminally underrated. His Love trilogy of albums are classics, and I’m so grateful that he continues to be a frequent Kanye collaborator.

I sort of still cannot believe Remy went there. As someone said earlier: “Remy shot her friend over an amount of money that was less than a quality weave installation..”

I nearly fell out when I heard the part about Nicki’s brother. I literally had my hand to my chest while listening to this entire thing.

I’m fantastic at making a woman come!

Dude: (gets a blowjob)

I had a guy say something like “you came twice, right?”. I think I laughed in his face. He was fun though, and very enthusiastic, so it was a good run.

The only moral abortion is my abortion. The only time I do not insult Obamacare is when my insurance is cut. The only time I promote gay rights is when my child comes out to me.

Seems reasonable to me.

I’m not a scientist, but I know science and I think this reestablishes the fact that aliens are real***. It won’t be long before they arrive.

I hope this is real and I hope there are other earth’s full of people.

I find that people who grew up well off usually add some sort of exception “but my parents never told me how much we had so I didn’t grow up thinking we had money” or “but they always asked me what I was spending it on so it’s not like I had an unlimited account”.

What, you want Trump supporters to collectively die of a stroke? Because I’m so here for that.

DELIVER the perfomance of a lifetime?

It gives new meaning to the line that precedes that one: “I’m so crown.”

Megan it’s been a real trash fire of a week both obviously for the nation and for me personally so I want to thank you for this news and the beautiful memory of how hard I sobbed with joy when a beaming Bey threw open that jacket at the VMAs.

She should sit on a throne for the performance, and the throne should look like it’s made entirely of severed heads of goateed white shitkickers with MAGA hats.

That woman could literally be crowning onstage and still deliver the performance of a lifetime.

I think it might - might - be a joke.