This must not be a European race. Otherwise, that dog would have a flare in its mouth and a Dutch flag tied around its neck.

But ... more than two thirds of those goals were in the Europa League, whereas both Ronaldo and Messi have more than 90 CL goals and just as prevalent per game goal rates as Falcao in the CL where he’s barely featured. Falcao did tear up that Super Cup game tho.

Looks like the weekend manager of a struggling kayak rental place.

The slave trade. Thank the Spanish. They eradicated the natives and populated the island with enslaved West Africans.

Used to love Wheat Thins. Feeling nostalgic, I bought a box three weeks ago. To lengthen a short story: They suck now.

Came for Rod Stewart. Stayed for the hilarious club names.

Lake Hopatcong, N.J., when there was snow. House plants rock.

Poor seal.

Golaz-no

Check, and raise ...

Every writer knows its quicker to type Antetokounmpo than Google, copy and paste. Yup, just proved it.

Don’t these guys know you can just steal some crab legs and let the coach make the decision for you?

Combos are the combo of the year, every year.

So, basically, honey roasted peanuts?

Yes, he wins because he was the strongest candidate in the (weak) group of finalists. Good for you for figuring out how the award works (lol).

Real life ...

Were you at my family’s Thanksgiving dinner last night? Fucking Uncle Jeff.

Or a “How is a family this awkward related to a seemingly coordinated pro hockey player?” face.

That bear was clearly grooming its victim

Nah. Clearly his newfound powers were enabled by said witch. That, or the tight tee under jersey is witch armor.