How could an Italian SUV look better than this?

New you can use.

I hope this doesn't take as long to resolve as that whole Pope/Anti-Pope schism.

@87CE 95PV Type Я: Too bad that removing or obscuring license plates is a violation on its own. Your pal would have to obscure the VIN as well to make this work, which is another violation...

@brandegee: The only hope here is that the wiper is now welded to the windshield. You can't move the car, but the meter maid has no place to stick the ticket.

It sounds like there have been some delays and changes of mind, that government programs have paperwork and bureaucracy, and that the public's money is being conscientiously looked after. Or should the Feds have shoveled money as fast as they could at anyone who had their hand out? This isn't the bank bailout, you…

The bitch of it all is going to be the tickets for alternate side of the street parking. For getting around, you've got cabs and car services, buses and the subway, walking and biking. But trying to chip the car out o that ice and get into it will cause more damage than the tickets.

The only play here is to buy the car, then part it out on eBay.

@west-coaster: I'm sure Bud gave a rat's ass about that. You think there was ever a second take? He wanted to get paid, then hit the bar with his buds and play grab ass with the waitresses.

@Nicholas Jordan: Investors call it the Bigger Fool theory.

"Power and Scat of a Bobcat"? Is he talking about a Pinto, or a mini-bulldozer? And I'd just as soon avoid feline poop, thanks.

@WBClassics: By your rights, the car is hopeless. And you're right.

Perhaps one Mr. Glickenhouse will develop a body kit to improve matters substantially?

@bryce.baker: This is such a great country, you don't have to choose. You can have the most convenient death imaginable. Operators are standing by.

@seanomatopoeia: No one expects the Smithsonian Inquisition.

GM got rid of Oakland as fast as they dared. Being that close to The Island That Rust Forgot was horrendous for planned obsolescence. Made all their brands look bad.

Looks like it could be a good driver without too much work - just so long as you don't need it being all original or looking immaculate. Plenty of states, like NH, don't need a title on an old car in order to register it. There's always hope.

@LeadfootYT: Is it Ed Begley's? Is it a conspiracy that GM didn't crush this one. Maybe, because JFK once rode in it...

Great. We'll be needing it to haul fresh fruit for rotting vegetables.

@Thomas Curt: It looks like licorice from here, but I'm hoping it's really black cherry.