Also acceptable: Archduke Franz Purrdinand

It should have been Calpurrnia.

Archduke Franz Ferdinand

My cat’s named Schrodinger. And that’s either the best cat name or it isn’t.

Twilight Zone the movie?

I came here to post the same thing. I always think of the Gabby Sidibe quote about Mike Tyson (which, upon Googling, I apparently read on Jezebel! Eight years ago! Man I’m old!):

I’m sorry but they dont come anywhere near Jackie Chan.

I do have a kind of sneaking suspicion that, even if it’s only on an unconscious level, some part of Tom Cruise wants to die making a Mission: Impossible movie and be The Guy Who Died For His Commitment To His Craft.

Depends on the charge.

“If the proposition is passed, it’s possible that Michigan will be more likely to swing blue in the 2020 election. That would definitely help clear an electoral path to victory for a challenger to Donald Trump.”

None of that is as crazy as how many people in the audience, who regularly buy groceries, will believe his claim that you need ID at the grocery store.

When they said “urban storefronts”, I assumed they just meant “that place in [Brooklyn/Portland/the Mission/etc.] that used to be the big thrift store, right next to the new Panera”. So-called downtown revitalization has brought us so much suburban schlock with delusions of urbanity.

Posers is what we call them. Or Pousers if they’re really pretentious.

I agree with everything except your #1 issue, while redneck biker image is definitely an issue, there are 2 way bigger problems. 1st, the middle class with $25k to spend on a toy has been eroded to almost oblivion. 2nd, most young people accurately view motorcycles as a death trap. I’ve been in two wrecks (not my…

Sting back in ‘88 (he came out for the encore, made a huge deal about taking his shirt off, then shook his ass at the crowd. I turned to my friends and said ‘That’s it. I’m out’).

She’d be right.

Let this be the hour when we draw our swords together.

Sidewalks for regular walkin’, not for fancy walkin’.

I love raisins, they’re sweet, they’re healthy, they stick together so I can eat an entire box in one bite, and you get to pretend like you’re mercy killing elderly grapes! In so many ways they are a perfect little snack, but if I take a bite out of what I think is a chocolate chip cookie and realize that it’s…