I currently have a raccoon (or raccoons) in my fucking attic. (It’s either that or a small bear.) The critter removal guy can’t come until tomorrow, at which point I will need to pay him $180 to crawl up in my attic to check it out and/or set traps. If he catches said masked bear, he will charge me another $30 to take…

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

When the thought, “waiting for the right time to break it to the internet” crosses your mind, it’s a powerful sign that you have made poor life choices.

Steve Bannon just threw up in his mouth

And contradict himself all over the place. His lawyers specifically said in their attempt to block that there was no evidence of voter fraud anywhere.

Not to defend Stein, but just to be objective you could make this argument for those who left the tops of their tickets blank, or those who stayed home, or those who voted for Trump, all of which represent larger groups than Stein voters.

And I will never get over this.

She’s definitely trying to clean up her reputation, with one eye on progressives and one eye on history. I’m not saying she was responsible for Orange Mussolini but she was.

Enjoy the (relatively) good vibes you are receiving now, Jill. On January 21, 2017 you will return to being a shitty footnote to this shitty election.

Exactly. And can you imagine having to watch a woman age 4-8 years in the White House? Talk about a national embarrassment.

Also, why didn’t she smile more, and why was she smiling so much? I don’t trust her.

You know what, though - there’s more to it than that. I can’t really put my finger on it... she’s just somehow so unlikable and comes off untrustworthy. She rubs me the wrong way. Her outfits, her voice, her attitude. Y’all know what I’m talking about.

There is only one way to stop all this mishegas from going down

......??????

She definitely had a type.

This is close enough to how I live that honestly I’m a little resentful of his free rent.

“he grew to love Dolly ‘as a boy loves his mother.’”

Once in Milwaukee, the relationship between Dolly and her husband deteriorated further. On August 22, 1922, a fight between them became violent and, fearing for her life, Sanhuber came out of his hidey-hole, grabbed one of Oesterreich’s .25 caliber rifles, and shot three rounds into his chest.