What's worse? The joke or the fact that I had to reread the headline to get it. I suck. +1 you magnificent bastard.

Strange, usually testing their piss is more accurate.

There's a reason Adam Silver is now far and away the most competent sports commissioner in the US.

For all its talk of being big tough manly men from Mantown, the NFL is WAY more thin-skinned than the NBA. The NBA laughs that shit off. There's a reason Adam Silver is now far and away the most competent sports commissioner in the US.

How weird. Bill Simmons routinely questions the integrity of an ESPN partner. How often has he accused the NBA of rigging the draft lottery? I mean, he probably makes 50 references to the NBA rigging the lottery per year. That's a direct assault on the integrity of that league with no evidence whatsoever. …

Holy fuck. What did that idiot on First Take get for insinuating (and then defending) that Janay Palmer may have kind of deserved a punch? It was a week, right? If that?

The second seal. (The first was Olbermann making sense to everyone.)

The apocalypse is nearing.

Because they're in Florida, Winston's attorney said he feels entitled to go after his clients accuser in his briefs.

Cornwell: Here, take this hush money and just go away. After all, your client likes to fuck athletes.

"I swear to god, if you call the cops I'll throw myself down the depth chart."

But as we've already seen, the publicizing of domestic violence as an issue does cause more women to report abuse.

I'm glad to see Nike is taking such a tough stance on the abuse and exploitation of children.

So maybe Anheuser-Busch isn't taking back its money or pulling its ads.

Looking for proof of tongue? Just ask Belichick. I'm sure he recorded another angle of it.

Smith: Inappropriate? Isn't that that Jeopardy category that's also a mix of dried, naturally fragrant flower material? Yeah, you motherfucking cocksuckers think I don't know shit.

"Hey guys, have you ever wondered whether this form of hyper-aggressive masculinity that defines the NFL is having a negative impact on society as a whole?"

He said "culpability". The NFL fucking hates that word.

Live, from the Staples Center, this Sunday on Summerslam: Shelly Sterling vs. Clipper Darrell in a Hell in a Cell match to determine Clippers #1 fandom! Just $9.99 on the WWE Network!

You know you're in trouble when the used car salesmen are declaring moral superiority over you.