Right???

But we took vows!! He borrowed Prince Fielder’s pants on day one. Is nothing sacred anymore???????????

That’s true. I really can’t complain. But 30 year old me was pissed at the time. And apparently, 38 year old me still harbors a grudge. Maybe I should work on that.

I’m with you in spirit, but as a Brewers fan, when the Yankees bought CC Sabathia a few years back, I was pissed. I (stupidly) believed after 2011 that things could be good. 7 years later, they finally are again, but still. Fuck New York, fuck CC Sabathia, fuck the Yankees, and double fuck Brian Cashman. And just for…

“Kate falling out with one of her “turnip toff” neighbors up in Norfolk, Rose Hanbury, Marchioness of Cholmondeley.”

As a Brewers fan, I unequivocally support this message. That guy is a fucking clown show.

Don’t worry, the Brewers would re-sign him if he got cut.

I bet a dollar that he gets released by the Nats, and signed by the Brewers the very next day. He’ll fit right in to the Milwaukee pitching staff this year.

Baseballs are go for launch.

True, but then you end up at one of those prissy golf courses that don’t have the bar open or the beverage cart on the course until 10:00, because fuck those places.

Sure, the team sets the price to a degree, but he’ll also have arbitration eligibility, and will not be cheap to keep. If anything, I would argue that the Jays are saving money in the current year, but not setting themselves up to save future money.

I want to believe that Nelson will come back as an ace, but I doubt that happens overnight. He was close to that level in 2017, but is anyone ever the same after major surgery?

As a big Brewers fan, I agreed with David Stearns not calling Kimbrel early on. Then Jeffress went down with arm fatigue (surprise, surprise.....in big sarcasm font), and then Corey Knebel went down for a year-plus with TJ surgery. Suddenly, our bullpen went from huge strength to “oh shit” in the span of 2 weeks. Get…

Ok, but how is it saving “imaginary money several years down the road?” If anything, it’s saving them a few bucks this year, but setting them up to spend more money with Guerrero being a member of the Jays for a year longer than he otherwise would have.

Yes, the Jays are just Kris Bryanting him, because the CBA allows it. Deadspin also gave this same treatment to the Cubs when they did it, but I feel like there were fewer articles about Bryant. It’s all bullshit, but the MLBPA agreed to it, so yeah, everyone is playing by the same rules.

Dammit, Samer, this should have been filed to MORANS.

Laugh all you want, I’m sitting her panicking. If ever there was a “hold my beer” moment, it’s going to be Corbin Burnes (9 HR allowed in 3 starts, 10.05 ERA) versus the Cardinals today.

2 years?? I heard that his max exposure was only like 2 or 3 minutes, and only a couple of inches? That’s why he’s so keen on keeping this video out of the public. Because, you know, most people assume that 80 year old dudes can get and keep erections for an hour. Gotta maintain mystique, you know.

Baseball is a weird game, man. This is just like Eric Thames against the Reds in 2017. Some dudes just crush teams for some reason.

And I'm a dumbass that was sad to part with Brinson. Further proof that I know nothing about anything.